My car has dash lights galore!

Check Engine Light – shows when I brake on the freeway… I’m not sure why. I call it my car’s rebellion to traffic.
Flashing Sports Mode Light – it’s like the car doesn’t know if it wants to go “Sporty” or “Regular”
Broken/Intermittently Broken Speedometer – do you know any other 1990 Honda Accords that can go 0-80 in 0.5 seconds?
Broken Tripometer and Odometer (when the above doesn’t work) – what a better way to limit milage than to have it not track!
Rear Lamp Light Out – I know it’s not out, my car knows it’s not out… but my car doesn’t know that I know that it knows it’s not out!